careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
