hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize