So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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