I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
