My room smells like vodka and shame
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
He had one of those small greek statue penises
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Randomize
