That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Randomize
