i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
