Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(212): View more from New York

plz talk dirty to me

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(541): View more from Oregon

So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap

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(248): View more from Michigan

Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?

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(419): View more from Ohio

I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.

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(630): View more from Illinois

Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?

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(559): View more from California

Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.

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(515): View more from Iowa

It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.

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(802): View more from Vermont

I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.

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