I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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