I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Randomize
