I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
she smelled like a LAN party
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Randomize
