But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Randomize
