Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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