Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
