I must be too annoying 4 u.
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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