Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
