So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize