this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
