Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
