2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
