would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Randomize
