im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
