mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
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