wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
i believe in u and ur pee
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
