My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
Randomize
