Heybabeimwearingurpanties
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
