I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize