why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
Randomize