My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
