Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
