How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
