I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
Its about making memories worth repressing
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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