How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Randomize