Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Randomize
