A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
