Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
