Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
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