i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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