Taylor Swift is so right about you.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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