It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
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