I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize