Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Randomize
