I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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