i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
Michael Bay diarrhea
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
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