Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
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