She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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