Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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