I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
I'm at about main and main street
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
