Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
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