Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
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