The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
