BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
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