and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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