You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Randomize
