i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Randomize
