Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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