His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
