I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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