very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
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