ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
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