I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Randomize
