Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
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